Following God Is Hard

It’s been awhile since my last blog. I always wait until I feel the urge to write something. Then I think about it, write it, erase it and write it again.  I guess in a sense it’s listening to what God is saying. This blog started off in so many different directions that I really had to pray about it. Mull it over in my head.  I wanted to talk about hurt, change and the New Year. I couldn’t figure out the one main topic. I wonder if this is how a pastor feels when figuring out their Sunday sermon.

If you have read my blogs in the past, you already know I was totally against this whole pastoral family life. I didn’t want to leave family, friends and a job behind. By the time I moved out to the seminary, Doug was starting his second year on campus. I started to embrace the new adventures ahead of us.

After arriving at the seminary, I started to make connections with people, and one person in particular.  However, like everything else since this journey began, things “ended” or “changed”.  The friend I connected with, left that following summer.  The family graduated and moved on to their first call.  Don’t fret, that friend is still there today, just not right across the street.

Then came the internship year. Doug was to learn what it’s all about putting things into practice under the guidance of an established pastor and church body. The site we were given was more than we could hope for.  The people were so welcoming and willing to help us learn as a family. Good thing too, as I heard plenty of “horror stories” as well as “good stories” from past interns at different locations. This too had to come to an end, as internship only lasted a year.  I myself learned so much from that year. I have great lasting memories of people who took an interest in my interest and helped me to grow.

During my husband’s senior and final year, he did what they call supply preaching.  In terms I understood, this was much like the substitute teacher in the classroom.  You fill in when needed and be on your way.  Through this time, I again met some wonderful people. I learned some interesting history, met a “Guinness book of World Records” gentleman. I even tried foods, I never would have tried before.  Okay, I’ll say it, I tried squirrel.  Just as I was about to take a bite, I overheard the person talking about it.  This person, lived off the land from my understanding.  I’d have to say it was gamey and not my thing.  However, since squirrels like to torment my dogs, a few less would be okay in this world.

Upon graduation, goodbye’s happened again and we headed off to our new home and church family.  Being the emotional one, I figured I’d cry. I did, but what surprised me is when I cried.

Shortly after pulling out of my office parking lot on my last day of work, I cried. I’m not even sure why.  I had made “office” friends and we did a few things here and there outside of work.  However that too ended as people left for new jobs, changed schedules or departments.  Yet, I still cried.  I was keeping my job and working from home, something I’ve always wanted.

We left the small community of Wartburg to join a new community, where a few people remained whom we enjoyed and talk too. No one prepares you for how hard it is to say good bye so much.  My friend I mentioned earlier; her kids asked when they were moving shortly after Christmas of the first year in their new parish. When you attend seminary, you can move a lot.  If you’re wondering, yes, three years later they are still there.

We headed off to our new community and new church family.  However, a year after we arrived at the first church, we said goodbye again to some very wonderful people.  Most pastors will remain in their first church for 3-5 years. Some will stay on longer than that. This particular place was not God’s plan for us.  I learned a great deal that year too.

We moved again to our new and present location. Things are going well, and it appears we have found our place in God’s mission. These people have welcomed us into their homes and their lives. I hope as you read this, you can understand following God’s path for you is not an easy path. I think I can truly say, I understand what Jesus was trying to tell his disciples.

Matthew 8:18-22

“18 When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. 19 Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” 20 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” 21 Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” 22 But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.””(NIV)

When I first heard this passage, I didn’t understand it, and I spoke with many about its meaning.  The way I interpreted the passage is this.  God ask you to trust him and follow him.  You have no idea where you will end up.  You do know and count on God being with you every step of the way.  Difficult trials, are lessons learned to be applied to later. Happy times, provide the strength you need to get through the difficult ones. We don’t know when things will happen or how long they will last, be it good or bad. God does. He’s seen it, he’s preparing you for it.  One the most difficult lessons I learned during these last 5 years, BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE, AND WE DON’T KNOW WHY, THEY JUST DO!

You can do everything right, sever God, read your bible, love your neighbor, but bad times will come. How we learn from that time is up to you, it’s up to me.   Okay so I’m the one who kicks and scream a lot and throws a pity party, before I can move on.  “Poor me”, “why always me”.  Then the time comes to move on, I don’t know where I will use my “good” or “hard” lessons.  However, I will.

God’s path for you and me is not an easy journey.  Jesus did not have an easy journey. At least I don’t have the burden knowing that I will be lifted up and persecuted. Jesus did.  He knew, yet he did it for us.  He carried on knowing he would be beaten and crucified all in the name of GOD.

So there it is. Hard times are hard times, good times are good times.  Know that God is with you always.  I will end today with a final verse.

Philippians 4:6-7

“6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)