Rubber Gloves and a Sponge
I had the opportunity to attend a clergy spouses retreat. I didn’t know what to expect really. I have been to Synod retreats and I found those to be “boring”. But then again that’s to go over Synod business. Now a spouse will not have the same “business”. However, Spouses do have stress from the “business”.
When I think of retreats, I think of mini vacations. I think of it as sightseeing, getting a message, going shopping, and eating out at great restaurant; in general just playing for the weekend. No phone, no internet service, just a big playground.
Okay some of that took place, but not all of it. This weekend was a time of spiritual renewal, networking with others and yes to relax. The food was provided by the hotel I was staying at.
Friday night was check-in. We had dinner and a meeting time. During this time introductions were made, stories were shared and encouragement provided. There was a sense of grounding, a sense of understanding that we all share the same story; some good, some bad and some downright maddening.
Saturday was more of the same until the afternoon. After lunch we had free time. I sat with some ladies, learning to cross stich again. I laugh as I love to do crafts, but I’m not really good at any one craft. HAHAHA. Maybe I should just pick one and perfect it. Sorry for the derail.
On Friday we were told every spouse should carry rubber gloves and a sponge, in the metaphorical sense. I was glad to hear that after the mess I had to clean up in my current home. Whoops so sorry for that squirrel moment.
Rubber gloves are to help the bad things bounce off you. The sponge is to soak up those few and far between moments when all is right in the world and you feel overwhelming love. What a cool idea.
I don’t know what I expected when Doug chose this path to become a pastor. I guess all the spouse I have met, seemed normal and had outside careers. Now I totally understand why they have outside careers. I am now more thankful than ever to have my own job. No it’s not just for the money either. My goodness, the spouse of the pastor is much harder than I ever expected. I now have stock in rubber gloves and sponges.
Many churches think you’re a packaged deal. When you hire the pastor you get a music director, a choir leader, a Sunday school teacher, bible study leader, and much more. I know your slapping your head thinking “what?”. The stories that were shared were unbelievable. Some of these ladies have been a pastor spouse’s for over 30 years, some were retired now and shared their story.
Here’s what I learned at the retreat: Carry rubber gloves and a sponge always. I am not alone, ever. God is with me and I have so much support from those spouses who have gone before me. Although I maybe having a rough time, I am not the first nor will I be the last to experience the “pastors” spouses life. I hope one day people can see the spouse as an individual, not a buy one get one free deal. No, not all churches feel that way, but even 1 is too many.
Isaiah 12:2 Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.
Good to hear you had this opportunity and that it was worthwhile!