Change is defined as: 1.) make or become different. 2.) Take or use another instead of.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 The Voice (VOICE)
3 Teacher: For everything that happens in life—there is a season, a right time for everything under heaven:
Even Peter Brady, from the ever happy Brady family sang his song about “when it’s time to change….”
Change can bring on many different feelings and emotions. People change jobs, personalities, homes, cars, internet providers and the list goes on. You understand what change is, you have changed many things during your life. But change not only affects yourself, it also affects those around you.
Recently, Doug and I were discussing the children on the campus. Some of those children are from the final year students, some have just completed their first year, and some are in the middle of the seminary journey. All of the children range in age from infant to high school age. So when their parents made the decision to come to seminary, the children were brought along for the ride, my own included.
I know my daughter wrote a high school paper that was heart wrenching about her move in the middle of her sophomore year. The paper went on to describe her feelings of leaving. It was horrible. It reminded me of when we moved the first time with her. She cried the first few nights, wanting to go home. She couldn’t understand and didn’t want to say good-bye to her first set of friends. Now fast forward six years later, even though she was older and maybe wiser, she didn’t like this new home in Dubuque. Don’t worry, the end of her paper turned very positive and she grew from the experience of moving to Dubuque.
However, that’s not always true of the children on campus. Some do not have the ability to process the changes taking place. Here’s what it looks like for the seminary child: Move to seminary for the first year. After the first year, the child continues to build bonds with other children. After the second school year, they will most likely move for the internship, which lasts for one year. They will then move back to campus for the last year, and not necessarily in the same house they left. The kids will move again, after the final year to a new church home for their parent to start their service.
I know of one family, that after graduation, their children were shocked after the first year leaving seminary that they didn’t have to move again. The question still came up on the second year, as it was hard for them to fathom the fact they were staying awhile. So you see these kids, move a minimum of 3 times while their parent obtains their Masters in Divinity. As just a side note, many first calls will only last 3-5 years. It is not uncommon for the kids to move again in a short period of time after graduation and First call.
So I guess I’m wondering, when someone is discerning their call, how do we as parents help our children? Essentially this decision will turn their lives upside down. I get sometimes that cannot be helped, but it’s so frustrating. Yes, I know military families do this all the time. But it’s rare that someone with older children suddenly decides to enlist and move their children to another place in the country.
Some children on campus are experiencing real anxiety issues over the next step. Some I believe are in denial. There are even those who don’t realize what’s really going on. There are even some who might even be looking forward to the next journey, as well as those who just “go with the flow”. It’s so hard to hear the kids say, “when we move back home” shortly after arriving….only to find out they will likely not return back to their original homes.
I wonder if this is how the disciples felt when they first decided to follow Jesus. They left their families behind and walked in faith. Seminary students do not leave their families behind; their families walk with them during this journey. During this journey, the family changes in their faith and family ties. It’s just so hard to help the children understand, when sometimes the adult doesn’t understand either.
Maybe that’s why so many find this poem so comforting………
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?” The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.” Mary Stevenson
Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, all rights reserved