All mixed up, Sorry this is a long blog\u2026\u2026\u2026..<\/p>\n
The latest bible parable I\u2019m contemplating: Luke 15 11:32 (NIV)
\nThe Parable of the Lost Son<\/p>\n
11 Jesus continued: \u201cThere was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, \u2018Father, give me my share of the estate.\u2019 So he divided his property between them.13 \u201cNot long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.17 \u201cWhen he came to his senses, he said, \u2018How many of my father\u2019s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.\u2019 20 So he got up and went to his father.\u201cBut while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.21 \u201cThe son said to him, \u2018Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.\u201922 \u201cBut the father said to his servants, \u2018Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let\u2019s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.\u2019 So they began to celebrate.25 \u201cMeanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 \u2018Your brother has come,\u2019 he replied, \u2018and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.\u201928 \u201cThe older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, \u2018Look! All these years I\u2019ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!\u201931 \u201c\u2018My son,\u2019 the father said, \u2018you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Wow, what a difference a few days can make. God has plans, that don\u2019t always match my plans. I have to trust GOD is with us every step of the way.<\/p>\n
This is very hard. When does helping, becoming enabling? In a past blog, I spoke about becoming an empty nester in August. Well surprise, I haven\u2019t even made it to August yet, and my eldest returned home recently.<\/p>\n
Of course I\u2019m thrilled! I at least know where he is sleeping, the food he is eating, and if car problems are an issues, this city is small enough he can walk home or we can pick him up.<\/p>\n
But, the down side, is the tension is high in the house again. You see my first born does come with baggage. Of course so does everyone else including me. My second and youngest child has her own baggage too. But his baggage is difficult to handle.<\/p>\n
To give some background, but not looking for pity or to embarrass him, his life has been an exhausting challenge. Since birth, he has had four surgeries for various reasons. He\u2019s highly intelligent, suffers from narcissism, and is AD\/HD, with a splash of Asperger.<\/p>\n
School was a fight, he barely graduated HS. He did enroll in college, but couldn\u2019t get the energy to show up. So he eventually dropped out. He became isolated in is his room staying up all night and sleeping all day. He did eventually get a part time job. He later left the part time job for a full time one, only to lose it later due to absences.<\/p>\n
He moved out at the end of December and floated between friends and his car. Maybe looking for a job, maybe not. He later tried to move in with a family member, but the circumstances were not right. Maybe that was a blessing in disguise. You see if that family member hadn\u2019t said \u201cno, not now\u201d\u2019 he may not have come home.<\/p>\n
I think the only reason he came home, was he didn\u2019t want to live in his car and the friends he was staying with no longer would allow him to stay there, because he didn\u2019t have a job.<\/p>\n
When I saw him on Mother\u2019s day, we made an agreement that if he didn\u2019t have a job by the end of the month, he would need to come home. This is tough for him. You see with all his baggage, he blames everyone but himself, and doesn\u2019t like change.<\/p>\n
We contacted a friend of his here in town, who worked very hard to get him an interview at the first job my son had. My son applied on line as directed, but didn\u2019t go into see the manager until three days later, and I believe he only went, because I told him I would take him there. Which by the way, I had to wake him up to get him to go. Now we wait for the interview to be scheduled.<\/p>\n
So here\u2019s where the mixed emotions come into play. My helping could actually be hurting. He\u2019s back to isolating himself in his room, and playing video games all day, maybe watching a movie here and there. He comes down to forge in the kitchen for food, but disappears again. He will do his own laundry, but little else without direction and constant nagging. Ugh! How do I get him to take responsibility, not just for himself, but for his life? He has alienated many in the family, who offered him food or small jobs, and he never showed. Yet here I am opening the door again, letting him walk through it.<\/p>\n
I cannot let him be homeless, the guilt would kill me. So my door is opened for him. All I want for my kids is to have a good life, be able to live on their own successfully and happily. I want them to know I love them and will always be there for them.<\/p>\n
However, I also want peace and harmony in our family life. I don\u2019t want to be the middle man between family members and him. I\u2019m not blind to him, or his actions. I know what he\u2019s doing, I just am not sure the best way to \u201chelp\u201d him succeed.<\/p>\n
So, I\u2019m all mixed up in emotions. I pray that GOD will provide guidance for all us. I ask and thank all of you who continue to pray for our family and for my son.<\/p>\n
24\u201d For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.\u2019 So they began to celebrate\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
All mixed up, Sorry this is a long blog\u2026\u2026\u2026.. The latest bible parable I\u2019m contemplating: Luke 15 11:32 (NIV) The Parable of the Lost Son 11 Jesus continued: \u201cThere was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one … Continue reading