I know I haven’t written anything down in a long time. Some of it was laziness, other times I wasn’t sure what to say. You see, my personal life prevents me from saying too much. After all my life is no longer private really. (Who is with all that social media) What I say can inadvertently effect my spouse and family. I also speak about God all the time or try to give a glimpse of feel good meme’s on Facebook. I figured if it helped you through the day, that’s all that mattered. However, is that enough? Reality is if I’m going to share it, I need to live it. I don’t think I’ve done that lately.
Since entering spiritual direction I have discovered, the need to put God first, to pray and to read my bible. Oh I’ve done all of these things at one time or another, but never consistently and never together. The time has come to live what I believe. It’s time to live out what I’m learning.
Everyone has problems of some kind, and no one problem is greater than another. How, we deal with that problem is the true test of faith. My own faith these days has surely been tested and I suspect will continue to be tested. Maybe, as I have grown in my spiritual journey, evil has decided to put up roadblocks. Maybe, I have set up my own roadblocks, I don’t know. I must ask myself, “so, now what?”
I recently looked at my bible sitting on my desk. Not long ago, it looked untouched, unopened. Oh I opened it a time or two, hoping to find answers. Sometimes I would read something that made sense, other times, not so much. Never, did I ever mark any pages. Never would I write in pen or pencil inside the book, after all that is what I was taught. I noticed today, I have opened it more times than I realized and now it looks like this:
There is wearing on the edges, and tabs marking bible verses that bring comfort and hope. Some, I started off color coding, then it became more important to just make sure I got it marked so I know where to look for that hope and comfort. No, I still do not use pen or pencil in the book itself, but I do write on the tabs. I guess some things will never change. However, tabs are like sticky notes and can be removed at any time, should I need to. Although, I hope I don’t need to remove any.
Now I want to be very clear, this does not mean that problems go away. I still have good and bad days that I struggle with and think God all but abandoned me. I’m still human and I worry and stress about things not in my control. I don’t know many people who don’t do that. It is a great reminder that God is control, not me. How I respond to these situations, dictates the direction I end up going in.
So when I return to Facebook and share meme’s maybe that is a good reminder to me and you, if it fits your situation. Maybe more prayer, bible readings and meditation is needed. Again, it doesn’t solve the problem or make it go away. It does help me not feel so alone and have hope, that I’m in Gods care. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to get angry, it’s okay to cling to the bible passage that brings comfort. Those things can also build faith, trust and hope. It can also provide clarity and direction if I stop to listen. At the time of this writing I’m dealing with a lot of anger. In my devotional time this passage was brought to me, and I believe God wanted me to take notice.
Psalm 25:2 The Voice (VOICE)
2 BECAUSE You are my God and I put my trust
in You.
Do not let me be humiliated.
Do not let my enemies celebrate at my expense.
It’s time to walk the talk. I put my trust in You Lord. May I feel God’s peace, comfort, hope and direction. May you who are reading this, know that you are loved, and God is with you always.