This past weekend, I sat with the potential future spouses/significant others of Wartburg, who came along to help their partners decided which Seminary might be the best one for them to enroll in. Oh, how well I recall my own spouse’s/significant others weekend.
At Wartburg, there are two times a year that they hold a Consider Your Call (CYC) weekend. They invite potential students and their families to come and learn about Wartburg and what it has to offer. Typically it starts on a Friday and ends on Sunday afternoon/evening.
When I attended the CYC weekend, I cried through the whole visit. I sat in the same meeting. What I heard was, money is tight, and student insurance is so expensive you will have to go on state insurance. Oh and you will be using food stamps and a food pantry. My heart just sank even further. What do you mean state insurance, food stamps and a food pantry? I was a raised by a single parent who never had to do that, and I have two other siblings. This information did not make me feel very good about this “call”. All I could hear was the negative side of things. Oh and let’s not forget, I was moving from somewhere I have lived my entire life, (Yes how boring that is) along with selling my home and leaving a job I enjoyed. Not unlike many others before me.
So after that weekend, I believed this could never work. This wasn’t for us as a family. This was for single people. But by that point it did not matter what I thought or believed we were going.
Now I myself have been on campus since March of 2012. As I mentioned earlier, the CYC weekend happens twice a year. Usually they occur in October and again in March. I never wanted to participate; I was after all not the happiest person on campus. I was also never asked to participate, so I was very shocked and surprised when I was asked to join the group for this past weekend’s CYC event. This is a time for the spouses/significant others to get together and ask the questions that relate to them specifically.
Oh how my wheels turned. This would be my chance to really let people know what it was like living here. To let them know it’s not all holding hands and singing Kumbaya song. So I gladly agreed. I remember thinking back to my weekend and what I needed that weekend. I walked up with another spouse to the “castle”, and gathered in a room with two other spouses on campus. The meeting wasn’t due to start for another 30 minutes or so. While speaking with the three ladies, I started to think about my CYC weekend.
As I reflected on my past, I realized, I received help with accepting this whole new world. I sought professional counseling, spoke with friends from back home, and spouses on campus all of which helped me work through a lot of stuff. I’m still receiving help with this next step in our journey. Looking back, I know now what I needed back then however I didn’t know then what I needed. I hope that makes sense. So do these new folks know what they needed if anything?
Anyway, the new people arrived and we introduced ourselves. We had one spouse from every class year represented. Well I should say, minus the internship year, those spouses are not on campus. Each one of us had a chance to “speak”.
It was my turn, and all though I don’t have enough time or space to tell you the whole conversation, I can give highlights. I told them, there are a lot of tears, but there is also laughter. This is a whole new lifestyle, with many changes. I didn’t discuss the money aspect other than to say, we are all in the same financial situation. I did say you are encouraged to seek things off campus, like a job or perusing your own career. I encouraged reaching out and asking for help, to swallow that pride. I confirmed that the best thing a spouse can do, is be the main support system, as their task is not an easy one. As a side bar, when I say main support, I’m not speaking finically.
I did not share the ugly side to living on campus. Yes, there are “clicks”. Yes there is an “in-crowd”. Yes there are “favorites”. Yes there are even “fake” people. There is a food pantry on campus, but it’s expired, damaged, crushed, and freezer burned items. None of which will kill you, but isn’t all that fresh. On the bright side you do appreciate the fresh food. Yes you can get some paper products and shampoo, all the “cheap” stuff. Again, you walk away with a better understanding of what a food pantry really needs. Yes, you can apply for food stamps, and state insurance. However, if you are employed like me, you may not qualify. We don’t and I don’t make that much money, but in the states eyes I do. This also helped me see that sometimes, it’s the states fault, and people are better off not getting a job.
But in the end, this journey is life changing in so many positive ways. Internship gave me a glimpse of the future and senioritis is real, even for the spouse. Everyone gets through this, some more easily than others. As mentioned earlier, I’m still going through some stress and anxiety, as I await the “first call” acceptance. Not to mention waiting on opportunities for Doug to even interview.
I think in the end the meeting went well, people asked questions and we provided real answers, but with a positive twist. The ugly side can wait until they arrive, as each person is different. After all, we are all still human, no matter where you live. There is no perfect place here on earth, but how we deal with it, allows us to grow.