It has taken some time to write about this topic. I wanted to be sure I didn’t sound like the cry baby mom that I am. I am not apologizing for my tears, I take great pride in owning them. Now, I either read somewhere or heard somewhere, that tears are a gift from GOD. My emotions allow me to fully empathize and take on the emotions with you. Yes this is both a “blessing” and a “curse”. After all, who else cries in commercials, TV program’s and movies? Oh and even books! Ah Lucky me. I have been told, I should sell my services. Maybe there is good money in being a professional crier.
I was reading an article about “helicopter” parents, in the latest issue of “Family Circle” magazine. You know who they are. They are the ones always ready to fight for the child, whether it be in grades or job negotiations. Those parents won’t let their child get hurt or fail. I, on the other hand can’t keep up with my own problems let alone try to balance my children’s issues, and I only have two. So, yes, I will let my child get hurt and will let them fail. In reality that’s life. That’s not to say, that if they ask for my help, I wouldn’t help. But I will not be the first one to jump in there and fight. Especially when they are now both adults.
However, it doesn’t make it any easier to say good bye. My house has changed forever. Gone are the days of elementary school, middle school, and high school. There are no more football games, or band competitions. No longer do I have to attend the parent teacher conferences, or speak with the school nurse. No, now I have to deal with all the scary topics of adult hood and living away from home.
Suzy Bogguss recorded a song back in 1996 The song’s title “Letting Go” It’s about preparing for those mile stones in your life, you think you’re ready for but, really you’re not.
“She’ll take the painting in the hallway, The one she did in jr. high And that old lamp up in the attic, She’ll need some light to study by. She’s had 18 years to get ready for this day She should be past the tears, she cries some anyway.
Oh oh letting go, There’s nothing in the way now, Oh letting go, there’s room enough to fly And even though, she’s spent her whole life waiting, It’s never easy letting go.
Mother sits down at the table So many things she’d like to do, Spend more time out in the garden. Now she can get those books read too. She’s had 18 years to get ready for this day. She should be past the tears, she cries some anyway.”
As I began to pack her room over the summer, I was just packing things up. I was preparing for her move but was planning for our move as a family as well. So boxes were tapped with one type of tape for school, and another colored tape to take to the new home. I didn’t really think much of it. As we packed we also removed several items out of the house as well. Books, toys, games, music and things that had little value or memories. Her room was packed, ready for college and ready for the family move in 2015.
The BIG , college move day arrived, we loaded up our cars Becky in one, Doug and I in another. Becky wanted to drive herself. Her logic was if she wants to come home, she may not have riders in the car with her. So armed with two-way radios we were off. Shortly after leaving the house, the tears began to fall. It was really happening. My youngest was leaving home, and my life was changing.
Fortunately, Becky knows her mother is a crier. So she also knows that I truly want her to experience college life. I have tried to instill this into my children that it’s something I truly regret. It was very hard returning to school as an adult. I did it, but it took a lot of work. Becky also really wants a career, not just a job, college is on step on the road to that career.
As we walked around her campus, I cried. She would be handling most of her education now. Especially when it comes to her learning disabilities. It will be up to her to fight for what she needs, something she has always been good at. Although we will always be in the background, ready to assist if need be. “It’s never easy…Letting go.”
So here’s to hoping I did things right. I know she will succeed and I am very proud of her. snif
Joshua 1:9New International Version (NIV)
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”