To be or not to be a parent……that’s the question.
Dictionary on line defines the word parent “a father or mother, an ancestor, precursor, or progenitor, a source, origin, or cause, a protector or guardian.”
Ask any parent out there and you will most likely get a variety of answers. It all depends on the age, the time of day, just exactly how well their child or children have been behaving. Trust me when I say, if a mother has been chasing her child all day who just isn’t listening, and normal chores are not getting done, she will pretend said child or children do not exist. Dads are no different, they can have all the same problems that mom does. So why do we do this to ourselves? Over all most people want to be parents. Okay, yes there are some who are parents who didn’t want to be nor should they be. However, I’m talking about the people who wanted to be parents. By the way, I just want to add, just because you donate sperm, or eggs, doesn’t really mean you’re a parent.
Looking back, I never once gave it a second thought to become a parent. That’s what’s “expected”, the social norm. But who knew being a parent could be so rough? Being a parent is the only job I know that is thankless, frustrating, emotionally difficult, and yet so rewarding at that same time. Each child brings with them their own set of issues, problems and rewards
I’ve been told children really are a gift from GOD. Sometimes, I laugh and think, sure they are gifts, unfortunately they are not returnable for a newer, easier model. I use to think I wanted four or five kids, but in the end only had two. Some days I’m reminded that was really the best decision, while other times I wonder where we’d all be if I had more.
I don’t regret becoming a parent, although I regret some of the choices I have made. We all make mistakes, kids do not come with owner’s manuals, and rarely will the same thing work on all the children. What prompted this post, is having to make some very difficult decisions lately regarding my children. Decisions I hated, but know deep down is and was the right thing to do.
What I have to remind myself of constantly, is I have played my part. I will continue to support my children in the best possible manner, but I must also realize, I cannot change the outcome of what my children decided. No matter what, they are adults now and have to make their own path. I am only here to offer guidance when needed and support when necessary. I will never stop worrying about them, but I cannot hold myself accountable for their choices either. I can only hope that I have done what is right and that my children will see that in time. I am also hopeful my children know how much I love them, no matter what happens.
My door will always be open, but it’s my children’s choice to walk through that door or not.